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Recently on «hold off, Is it a Date?» we are accompanied by Autostraddle CEO and

L Term

specialist
Riese Bernard
to go over: The Chart. That is correct! This occurrence is about lesbian interconnectivity — setting up with friends’ exes, buddies setting up with your exes, as well as the culture produced by what drama.

Arrive for the news, stay for all the psychological running. And before that enjoy a game title that tests Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she usually would not.)

Many thanks for all your great feedback after all of our premier! If you haven’t however give consideration to giving us a rating or review!

SHOW NOTES

+ Five years ago Riese put together an
Old Hollywood data
this is the intersection of most my personal interests.

+ Listed Here Is
the essay
We reference where We mention connecting with my roommates.

+ My crush with the week Mj Rodriguez released a music movie on her track
«Something to state»
!

+ As somebody who has just observed a small number of episodes of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush on the week C.C. Babcock ended up being shocking to me whenever it ended up she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina tells me they essentially however tend to be.)

Drew:

I might end up being really great with it current. I would personally never include some other person without their own authorization. However the concept of every time some body ended up being like, «Confirm that you might be linked to me,» I would end up like, «Yeah, it is the existence i have lived. I don’t worry about.» Usually weird? Is the fact that problematic?

Christina:

No, as if I becamen’t, I would personally feel poor not-being. I might resemble, «hold off, I’m not sleeping?»

Theme tune plays

Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I Am Christina.

Drew:

And thank you for visiting

Wait, Is It A Romantic Date?

Christina:


Hold Off, So Is This A Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast asking the top concerns. Firstly, can it be a romantic date? Preciselywhat are dates? That happen to be dates? Can we like times? They are method of concerns that people answer on this right here very pro and beautiful podcast.

Drew:

I’m called Drew Gregory. I’m a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

My name is Christina Tucker. I am additionally a writer at Autostraddle. I will be a loud queer online. I will be getting better at explaining my self as an author and, notoriously, a lesbian. That’s us. Which is which the audience is.

Drew:

Yeah. And so our very own primary topic this week may be the Chart.

Christina:

I recently believed it required a sting. I am not sure. That believed truly dramatic, but I think it needed it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, please, kindly. Thank you so much, thank you so much. No, no, no. The suitable level of crisis.

Christina:

Thank you.

Drew:

Yeah. Therefore we’re speaking about lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I really like that expression because it seems like you will need to resume the lesbians. It sounds like web connection is not working.

Drew:

Yes. it is very higher level, really advanced, and has been in existence since there is lesbians, In my opinion.

Christina:

Yeah. I believe scholars would say as soon as they discovered the first lesbian fossils, they discovered an information alongside of those carved to the mud. And I think that’s what that movie is mostly about, correct? It’s about the chart? That film with Kate Winslet in addition to mud fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that is what it is more about.

Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

involved cave women. I would watch that lesbian film.

Christina:

Really, when I haven’t seen it, i will fearlessly declare that it absolutely was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like there is a lot of lesbian period parts, but we have now never eliminated straight back that much. And I also think it’s the perfect time we would.

Christina:

Let us only hold taking it furthermore back in time.

Drew:

Before we become to your main subject, you are still getting to know all of us. And I believed that it will be fun to try out a game title where you men could really get to know Christina. Very our very own icebreaker with this few days is just a little video game that we call «Would U-Haul.»

Christina:

I will be, again, thus pressured concerning this. This might you need to be just how i-come into the game. This might be my personal video game mentality, somewhat high key, a tiny bit stressed. That is fine. We’re all discovering.

Drew:

I do believe that’s fantastic. I think which will make you more vulnerable, maybe.

Christina:

Certainly one of my favorite feelings.

Drew:

Only a horror, simply an intense terror. Therefore the manner in which «Would U-Haul» really works is actually i’ll describe a situation. Why don’t we call it Christina enthusiast fiction. And that I’m gonna pause after each small part to-be like, «Okay, Christina, i understand you have never resided with a partner, don’t want to accept someone. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?»

Christina:

And I will either say yes or we’ll say, «i am all set.»

Drew:

If you don’t — really, we’re going to see right here. But I’m thrilled. I do believe I perhaps damaged the rule.

Christina:

You cracked the signal? I’m thrilled.

Drew:

Why don’t we find out how very long this takes. Assuming you won’t ever do, i do believe you winnings? I’m not sure just how you can find champions right here.

Christina:

I’m not sure that there are winners for the game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Well, I’m not sure if you’ll agree with that next. And so I’m going to get heading.

Christina:

Fair sufficient.

Drew:

Okay. Therefore, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You are at your buddy’s wedding. Regardless of the large number of romcoms you have absorbed, you probably did perhaps not visit this wedding ceremony thinking you would satisfy any person because, really, this is simply not a romcom. This is basically the actual and regular life of Christina Grace Tucker. You adopt your assigned seat and so are glancing at the phone once you recognize a female at the table is looking at you. She introduces by herself since your buddy’s previous baby sitter. She’s stayed a pal of the household, but she does not really know anybody there. She looks like mid-forties features a striking angular face. You begin talking. She proposes to allow you to get a glass or two. When she compares, you recognize she is six legs high, 6′ 3″ in heels. Which means you know very well what? I am merely likely to hold on there and stay love, at this stage, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I am captivated. I am intrigued because i may get set during that wedding. But up until now I’m not U-Hauling anywhere.

Drew:

Cool. Which is completely fair. Completely fair. Okay. So you spend whole marriage observing one another. Absolutely just an instantaneous spark and instant chemistry. And certainly, you will do get together as well as the gender is actually incredible.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

And this wedding was at Northern Ca. And so you both increase your own stays for three days to fuck and check out and consume at restaurants and screw. And you also provide to separate the cost of the today combined space, but she laughs you off and is also like, «Obviously not, honey.» Therefore, the next three days tend to be magic. You think your own wall space tumbling down. You’re dropping quicker than you actually ever have. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

So simply for quality’s sake, i am having trouble imagining a world by which we took three surprise times off try to go out with someone i actually do maybe not know. That looks bonkers. But if I did, beneficial to me. But I’m not really U-Hauling at this stage. It will be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. That is great. You merely met. I get it. I have it. Okay.

Christina:

Many thanks such.

Drew:

So she comes back to nyc and you also come back to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That is where I reside.

Drew:

And you are texting always. This is where you are living and it’s also in which this woman life. And you are texting all the time and you see each other many times per month. She is really active with her work, but she’s quick buying you a train solution so you’re able to come see the lady and remain at her beautiful brownstone in Fort Greene. And then six months pass. Plus one evening when you’re off to supper, she requires you to definitely move in together with her. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And go on to Ny? I really don’t really love New York. No, I’m not moving in from the 6 months tag. I’m not undertaking that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Totally, completely, entirely. Wow. Okay. Which means you hold online dating cross country. She knows that you may need some time this woman is happy to loose time waiting for you. More months pass. It really is now been over a-year. The property manager tells you that they’re selling your home to a developer that is putting in condos, which means you can’t restore it. You should discover a new spot. The today gf lets you know that no force, but her provide nonetheless stands. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. At this time, I would U-Haul for a few factors.

Drew:

Yay! Ok. Please inform us.

Christina:

Mainly, in some sort of which my property owner sold my house to develop it, my personal property manager is currently my personal best friend, so as that appears like anything moved incorrect inside our friendship. And that I may want to just leave Philadelphia in any event. While I have to move in with my girl over right here, that seems okay. That’s okay. Entirely fine. But yeah, I think i would need an external force like a mean landlord.

Drew:

Which is so — ok. I did so think that you might need certainly to require property in order to get here, therefore I’m grateful I knew that.

Christina:

Yeah. Which is what must happen to me 1st.

Drew:

Really, i am pleased to know what it does take. Therefore in theory, if perhaps you weren’t knocked away, how much cash more time?

Christina:

Actually, which could have gone on for a long time. Philly and New York aren’t actually that not each other. I acquired area over right here. We’re jumping backwards and forwards. We’re having happy times. I really could have let that roll for quite some time until i assume Shoshana becomes the worst individual i understand.

Drew:

I did not understand that Shoshana had your own home. Well, there you go.

Christina:

There we go. Wow, that has been exciting.

Drew:

Well, thanks for playing.

Christina:

I am pressured, to be obvious.

Drew:

And I also’m glad that I’m sure… possibly in case you are actually ever, therefore if anyone’s ever dating both you and desires you to relocate, perhaps your own girlfriend told Shoshana to sell our home for the sake of your own connection.

Christina:

Genuinely the quickest way — some body would just have to speak with Shoshana and start to become similar, «simply kick their aside.» After which she’d resemble, «Yeah, certain. Naturally.» That would be the way it took place, regardless if she didn’t sell our home. Somebody would you need to be like, «Can you just stop the lady away thus she’ll merely get over it and move in with me?» And she would state yes. One hundred percent she’d do this. That’s what relationship is actually.

Drew:

I love that.

Christina:

Yeah, that is actually stunning.

Drew:

Really, personally i think like we discovered a whole lot in regards to you.

Christina:

Thank You. I believe like We learned much about my self, as well. Danger of homelessness is really the thing that keeps me transferring any situation, i assume. Wow.

Drew:

Well, which is great.

Christina:

That has been actually thrilling. I am similarly thrilled to maneuver into our very own main segment because i do believe making reference to lesbian connection with this particular guest, because of this special guest, i do believe it’s going to be remarkable, Drew. How will you be feeling?

Drew:

I am therefore thrilled. It is specialized. And also by that, What i’m saying is an

L Keyword

expert, additionally some an expert when you look at the topic at hand.

Christina:

I do believe a couple of things is generally real, my friend. I do believe a couple of things may be real certainly. Can we want to present the visitor or will we want our very own guest introducing by themselves?

Drew:

I might love our guest to introduce herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I shall declare that all of our visitor will be the only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, communicate.

Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. Plus its unusual become the visitor!

Christina:

Yeah, it’s.

Riese:

I got not to say any such thing. I didn’t actually do so. I did state situations. I experienced to sit down right here quietly.

Christina:

And you also had been actually fearless. Along with your faces were valued.

Riese:

Thanks a lot much.

Christina:

Though this can be obviously an audio medium, i would like our listeners to find out that Riese was actually generating some very nice effect faces during «Would U-Haul.»

Riese:

There is various ways become heard. You-know-what i am talking about? That’s what i state. I am the President of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m also on an undefeated kickball team. And that is me personally. I have your dog known as Carol. And I have actually outdated folks.

Christina:

Congrats regarding the kickball!

Riese:

Thank you so much. I have been associated with men and women.

Christina:

Great. Enjoying that. Which is fantastic to take for this, this right here matchmaking podcast. That is good.

Riese:

Yeah. I do believe that… Is there anything else?

Drew:

No, I think that’s fantastic, Riese.

Christina:

Whatever you decide and need to share.

Riese:

I enjoy raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and swimming pools.

Christina:

As opposed to…

Riese:

You Understand when someone goes like…

Drew:

Its like once you hit. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those tend to be disgusting, therefore I merely exhausted them from my personal head.

Riese:

Yeah. That is certainly all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Really, I instantly considered you for this topic.

Christina:

That’s true.

Drew:

Because first of all, obviously, queer women and non-binary folks in lesbian community happen like, I don’t know, having sexual intercourse with individuals just who people they know have acquired gender with since long before

The L Term

was actually actually ever a series. But I do feel like

The L Word

solidified a certain social idea of the chart with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I felt like you might have many insight into this subject.

Riese:

It’s real. A couple of article authors, I would like to state, of

The L Term

had this actual information ones and their buddies these were drawing regarding the wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, I think, was one among them. She chatted to you about this, which they had built this. Because obviously, every person in this journalist’s area had fucked other folks within the blogger — you are sure that, and also the prolonged internet of this generation of lesbians in Los Angeles. And in addition they saw can they certainly were like, «Why don’t we put it inside tv show.» Several of these are on the chart. Like, some of the people which … like, genuine folks are from the chart as a joke.

Christina:

That’s amazing. That is the manner in which you know you have made it.

Riese:

Isn’t really that attractive?

Christina:

That might be thrilling for me personally.

Riese:

And therefore for those who haven’t observed

The L Word,

firstly, congrats. Second, it gets the centerpiece of 1 your lead fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s got all of it over her wall structure. Looked after will be the title of web site which they began called ourchart.com that flopped. And the idea … and it’s really for the pilot, i do believe. During the initial occurrence, Alice begins speaing frankly about just how everyone’s linked, because every person’s connected using this person. And I can link you, as if you’re probably only two degrees far from me. Which was real. Like, despite having Dana, that has not a lot of knowledge because she was a closeted football player, they nonetheless were able to hook up the girl. And that’s real life since it is true.

Christina:

That’s tradition. Yeah. That’s what tradition appears to be.

Riese:

That’s society. That is queer society immediately. And today everybody else tends to make their own maps.

Christina:

Yeah. So as that was going to end up being my subsequent question, had been have either of you made a chart? Because Really don’t think I have, and I am sort of today thinking like, that was this just last year seated within my house for basically didn’t make a chart? Like, that which was the purpose of that, truly?

Riese:

In my opinion I done it within my diary, in the same manner like … Because I like, I’m not sure, organizing information, i assume, as a thought physical exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, In my opinion that’s also exactly why i will be amazed that We haven’t completed it. I prefer the thought of categorizing things.

Riese:

Correct. Yeah. Because it’s fascinating. I’m not sure the reason why its very fascinating, but it is. It really is interesting become want, wow, all these people, they may be connected. It’s crazy.

Drew:

About tv show, as soon as ourchart.com is conceived, they have a real information that individuals could add things. And I also feel something you joked about on

To L and Right Back,

and today individuals say continuously is like, if this existed in an actual way, no body would put their particular labels about it, no body would feel safe placing their names about it.

Riese:

Might.

Drew:

I’d. I might end up being extremely good with-it present. I’d never ever add some other person without their unique authorization. Nevertheless notion of similar, anytime some one was actually like, «concur that you will be attached to me,» I’d end up like, «Yeah, oahu is the existence i have stayed. I really don’t mind.» Is that weird? Usually problems?

Christina:

No, because if I happened to ben’t, i might feel poor not being … i’d be like, «hold off, I am not on it? Like, i’m very sorry, just what?» No, that could in fact deliver me into lighting moral stress about whom i will be as individuals, the things I’m undertaking. In the morning we interesting? Would individuals {like
/gay-sex-chat/